Having a sister is a wild ride. She is your best friend one minute and your biggest annoyance the next.
The best way to show your love is often through a good-natured joke. A little teasing is just part of the bond that keeps you close.
Here are 120 funny sister quotes to help you roast her with love. They are perfect for birthdays, captions, or just a random laugh together.
Funny Sister Quotes to Roast With Love
I’m the reason our parents have a favorite child, but you’re a great runner-up.
Being your sister is the only gift you’ll ever need, so you’re welcome.
I smile because you’re my sister; I laugh because there’s nothing you can do about it.
A sister is like a built-in lawyer, except you usually deserve to be in trouble.
You’re the “before” picture in our family’s glow-up story.
I’d walk through fire for you, or at least a very humid room.
Having a sister is like having a roommate who steals your clothes and your sanity.
You’re the reason I know exactly what not to do with my life.
If I ever need a kidney, I’m taking yours. You owe me for stealing my youth.
We are sisters by birth, but we are friends because I’m incredibly patient.
You’re the only person I can be in a room with and still feel like I’m alone.
My sister has the best sister in the world, and I’m a little jealous of her.
I love how we can communicate just by looking at each other and judging everyone else.
You’re like a human diary, mostly because you never stop talking about yourself.
I’m pretty sure I was the favorite until you showed up and ruined the streak.
You’re the only person who can make me laugh and want to throw a shoe at the same time.
If you think I’m crazy, you should meet the person who raised me—or just look at my sister.
A sister is someone who knows you’re a mess but loves you anyway, mostly for the entertainment.
You’re the “fine, I’ll do it” to my “can you do this for me?”
I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.
You’re the bridge between me being sane and me being institutionalized.
I’d give you the shirt off my back, mainly because you probably already wore it twice.
Having a sister means having a constant backup singer for all your bad decisions.
You’re the only person I’d share my snacks with, after I’ve eaten the best parts.
Being sisters means we’re stuck together like gum on a shoe, and you’re the gum.
You’re the reason our parents’ hair turned gray, and I’m the reason they still smile.
I’d take a bullet for you, but I’d definitely complain about it for the rest of my life.
You’re the only person I can insult and then ask what’s for dinner five minutes later.
My sister is my best friend, mostly because she knows where the bodies are buried.
You’re the middle child energy the world didn’t ask for but somehow got.
I love that we don’t need words to tell each other that someone else is being annoying.
You’re like a cloud; when you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
If we were on a sinking ship, I’d give you my life jacket—right after I made sure I had a spare.
You’re the only person who understands my weirdness because you share 50 percent of it.
Being your sister is like being a full-time therapist without the paycheck.
I’m the smart one, you’re the… well, you’re here, and that’s what matters.
You’re the only person I’d let see me without a filter, unfortunately for you.
We’re sisters, so if I’m going down, you’re coming with me as an accomplice.
You’re like a broken record, but at least the song is catchy.
If you fall, I’ll be there to pick you up—after I finish laughing and posting it online.
You’re the “bad example” our parents always warned me about.
I love you even though you think you’re the main character in my story.
Having a sister is like having a second closet that you didn’t pay for.
You’re the only person who knows all my secrets and still hasn’t blackmailed me yet.
I’m the original version; you’re just the slightly glitchy sequel.
You’re the reason I have trust issues, specifically regarding the last slice of pizza.
Being sisters means we can say anything to each other and still go shopping an hour later.
You’re the only person I can be completely silent with and not feel awkward.
I’d move mountains for you, but I’m probably too lazy to move the laundry.
You’re the spice in my life, mostly because you’re incredibly salty.
If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on first. Love you, sis!
You’re the only person who can annoy me from another room without even speaking.
Having a sister is like having a shadow that talks back and steals your makeup.
You’re the “what was she thinking?” to my “I knew she’d do that.”
I’m the reason you have any fashion sense at all. You’re welcome.
You’re the only person I’d trust with my life, but not with my phone password.
Being sisters means knowing exactly which button to push to make the other one explode.
You’re like a fine wine; you’ve aged, and now you’re just a little bit sour.
I love how we can hate the same people without even talking about it first.
You’re the only person I can be 100 percent myself around, which is bad news for you.
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a “cute-cumber,” but mostly just a potato.
Having a sister means you always have a witness to your most embarrassing moments.
You’re the only person I’d let borrow my car, but only if the gas tank is full.
I’m the sugar, you’re the spice, and together we’re a recipe for disaster.
You’re like a mosquito; annoying, persistent, but somehow part of the ecosystem.
If I had a dollar for every time you annoyed me, I’d be able to buy you a better personality.
Being sisters is the only thing we haven’t failed at together.
You’re the only person I’d go to jail with, but I’m definitely blaming you in court.
I love you more than Netflix, but don’t ask me to choose during a cliffhanger.
You’re the reason I learned how to hide my favorite snacks.
Having a sister is like having a mirror that tells you when your outfit is ugly.
You’re the “oops” in our parents’ “perfect” plan.
I’m the brains, and you’re the person who makes me look smarter by comparison.
You’re the only person I can call at 3 AM just to tell you I’m bored.
Being sisters means sharing everything, except my boyfriend and my fries.
You’re like a GPS that only gives wrong directions but says them with confidence.
I love that we can talk about nothing for hours and feel like we solved the world’s problems.
You’re the only person I’d let see me cry, mostly because you’re usually the cause.
If you were an app, you’d be the one that always needs an update but never gets better.
Having a sister is like having a permanent playdate that you can’t cancel.
You’re the “no” to my “yes,” and that’s why we’re still alive.
I’m the reason you didn’t get bored as a child. I provided all the drama.
You’re the only person I’d share an umbrella with, even if I get soaked.
Being sisters means never having to say you’re sorry, just “are you still mad?”
You’re like a flashlight; you always show up when things are dark and then run out of batteries.
I love you because you make me look like the normal one in the family.
You’re the only person I’d share my bed with, but only if you stay on your side.
If you were a movie, you’d be a comedy of errors.
Having a sister is like having a cheerleader who also occasionally trips you.
You’re the only person I can judge people with in total silence.
I’m the reason our parents have high standards, and you’re the reason they have patience.
You’re like a puzzle with a few missing pieces, but you’re still a pretty picture.
Being sisters means we’re partners in crime until the police show up.
You’re the only person I’d let drive me around, even though you’re a terrible driver.
I love you more than chocolate, but please don’t touch my stash.
You’re the reason I have such a great sense of humor—I had to laugh at you.
Having a sister is like having a bodyguard who is smaller and weaker than you.
You’re the “hold my drink” to my “watch this.”
I’m the light of your life, and you’re the person who forgot to pay the electric bill.
You’re the only person who knows how to make me laugh when I’m actually trying to be mad.
Being sisters means we’re stuck in the same family tree, so we might as well hang out.
You’re like a rainy day; a little depressing but necessary for growth.
I love that we can be weird together and no one else gets it.
You’re the only person I’d let borrow my favorite shoes, as long as you don’t walk in them.
If you were a book, you’d be a mystery—mostly because I still don’t get you.
Having a sister is like having a secret language that only involves eye rolls.
You’re the “I told you so” I always ignore.
I’m the treasure of this family, and you’re the person who found me.
You’re the only person I’d share a dessert with, but only the crust.
Being sisters means we can fight over a hair tie and be fine five minutes later.
You’re like a wifi signal; sometimes strong, sometimes weak, but I’m always searching for you.
I love you because you’re the only person as weird as I am.
You’re the reason I have to lock my bedroom door.
Having a sister is like having a built-in best friend who can’t quit.
You’re the “wait for me” to my “hurry up.”
I’m the star, and you’re the person who makes sure the lighting is right.
You’re the only person I’d share my deepest fears with, just so you can make fun of them.
Being sisters is the greatest adventure, mostly because I’m leading it.
You’re the sister I always wanted, mostly because I didn’t have a choice.
I love you, even if your existence is a constant test of my sanity.